Pong's Guardian Angel

Today was the second anniversary of Pong's mother's death. The family considers this as a very important day throughout the year. They woke up very early in the morning for the preparation, Pong 's niece Ah Yan even got a day off from school.

Pong making a traditional Malay dish 

Jenny Pong was cooking for the prayer when I arrived. She first washed the vegetables, then put fish paste into chili peppers. "My mom loved eating what I cook. She always told me to cook for her when she was still here," Pong said with a smile. 

Pong can get tired easily, so cooking was never a simple chore. In the morning, they would go to the market together. Back in those days, Pong didn't have her own van, so she had to borrow a van from her friends. There would be callings, scheduling and getting a driver before Pong could leave the house. They would decide what to cook on the way. No matter what her mother said about Pong not getting overworked from cooking,  Pong would always buy a fish because she knew it was her mother's favorite dish. Sometimes, they fought over who would do the cooking that day. The mother didn't want Pong to get overwork herself. However, Pong would always insist on making meals for the family as she thought her mother had already done so much for the family.

The Pong family, kneeling 
in front of the mother's tablet

Because the van that takes Pong around broke down, she stayed home to pray instead of going to the temple. I followed the rest of the family to the temple.  It felt like an All Souls’ Day  of worshiping ancestors. Everyone was solemn. Each member of Pong's family knelt down in front of the mother's memorial tablet while two nuns began reciting the Buddhist scripture. With eyes closed, the family members chanted with the nuns. 

Although life is difficult when finances are tight, the family is resilient and united together.  Pong's mother was always a prominent source of spirituality for her. After the accident, Pong was in a coma and lost the use of her arms and legs. Her mother rubbed her toes and sang songs like ‘Mama how (Mother loves you)’, remaining hopeful that her daughter would survive the tragedy. Pong's mother took care of her for 25 years after she woke from the coma.

        Pong shared a story with me about her mother. The mother used to make herb soup late at night for Pong whenever she had fever.  Pong would watch from the mosquito net, the dark figure of her mother walking in and out of the room, putting cold towels on her forehead, and telling her "The herb soup will be ready soon."

A friend of Pong's providing
assistance to her and the family 

     The mother didn't sleep much and still went to do farming and took care of Pong all day long. When the mother sat down in the late afternoon, she closed her eyes. Pong knew she was tired and urged the mother to take a rest. But the mother immediately sat up and insisted that she wasn't tired. She got out of the chair and gave Pong a hand towel bath. Then she went to cook for the family and made another pot of herb soup for Pong. She didn't go to bed till 11 am, until she was sure that Pong’s fever was gone.

      Pong often recalled the days which she spent with her mother. They used to cooked for the family, make handicrafts and sometimes go shopping together. After she passed away, the smell of the herb medicine is what Pong misses the most.  The fragrance is a symbol of her mother's love.

Pong is her kitchen        

Pong received her positive outlook and fortitude from her mother and hopes to continue her mother's legacy by passing on these attributes to others. Sometimes, she can still feel her mother is around, watching her somewhere in the house. I've also asked Danny(Pong's brother) about this, and he experiences the same sensation as well.   It seems like their mother never left her children; her love and care will remain in the Pong family forever.