Dreams and Desires

Jenny no longer believes in letting fate decide her life for her stating, “If I had given up then, I would have died a long time ago when the doctors had given up hope on me and advised my mother to get a coffin.” Jenny Pong is a middle-aged women of 49 years, who has grown up in poverty, lost people dear to her, undergone trying times and has had both legs amputated. She is an incredible woman, a perfect example of perseverance through hardship and strength through suffering.

At a young age of 12 years old, Jenny had to drop out of school in order to help her family due to their poverty and financial issues. By the mere age of 15, she was already working in a factory, packing tyre tubes, to help ease the financial burden of her family. She would also wake up very early every morning to collect ‘pucuk pakis’ (fern shoots) which her mother would then sell in the market. Growing up in a simple house with a simple lifestyle has humbled Jenny even more so now, after her amputation. She is now more empathetic towards others and delights in the opportunities to help other people through hardships and sadness. With many problems and illnesses in her own body, such as leukemia, kidney problems, diabetes and chronic spinal pain (not to mention she suffered from a heart attack), she is able to feel towards those going through the same pain as her. She is an inspiration to many others who suffer from new spinal injuries and she helps relieve their pain and sadness through talking it through with them.

Just because Jenny is disabled you would have thought that it meant she was out of doing house chores. Wrong! Jenny continued to do house chores almost immediately after her ordeal such as dusting the furniture, preparing breakfast in the mornings, and even playing babysitter to her nieces and nephews. These chores are challenging to begin with, but Jenny had to do it on her stomach, with no legs and using a trolley as her only form of movement from place to place. But thanks to her mother’s insistence and prompts in making her do all the chores, she became stronger. “If it had not been for my mother’s strength and pushing, I would not be able to face the future with the determination I have now. Self-pity and depression were never far away.” Jenny is also grateful to her mother, as she now does not like people to feel sorry for her, so she can show people through her actions that she is not someone who needs sympathy.

Jenny has dreams like any other person, and hers is to be first and foremost a chef and own her own restaurant. Regardless of being short of two limbs, Jenny has a passion for cooking and is actually very good at it, according to sources. She has stoves placed on the ground and on small shelves for easy use and access. She is very independent in cooking. 

In the video below, Jenny taught her niece how to prepare Udang Lemak.

She has never shown any complaints to the inconveniences she has to face when cooking but rather revels in being able to cook regardless of circumstance and situation. Jenny’s second dream, one that is very dear to her, is to be a motivational speaker, reach out and speak to people/victims who have either suffered from the same illnesses, diabetes, spinal injuries, as her or are going through a tough time due to said illnesses. Her wish is to combine both dreams and create a restaurant attached to a motivational centre.

Everyone will go through some sort of test of hardship in their lives, no one is exempted. It is the way you handle and overcome the situation that will determine the type of person who you will become. Take the hardship as a difficulty and give up, and you will end up as someone who wallows in self-pity and depression. Take the hardship as an experience and a lesson learned, and you will end up as someone who grows in their wisdom, strength and happiness. Life will give you a tough hand, the choice lies within you on how you will deal with it. When you fall down, will you simply lie on the ground forever, or will you take the initiative and pick yourself up and carry forward to pastures anew? 

Written by

Nadiah Mohd Nasir

11 April 2015

Life as Jenny Pong

Often we think that an accident, a calamity or even the death of a loved one are all it takes to unhinge us and make us depressed for eternity. We think that we will never be able to bounce back from something that terrible, and more often, when something that high a degree of misfortune happens to us we tend to play the blame game, whether on a friend, a family member or God, we feel that in that moment, life is unfair and these events should not be happening to us.

Ever wondered what it would be like to have to go through such harrowing circumstances? Such as poverty? Or surgery to amputate both your legs? Or to have your husband leave you in the most trying times of your life? Jenny Pong knows what those are like. She is just another person, like you or me, who has been given a tough hand at life. She is an absolutely incredible woman who makes no time for sadness but rather focuses on making her life happier. She knows that everyone goes through bad things in life, and has decided to be one of those who twists the bad and makes it good. Rather than being upset at the loss of limbs, Jenny Pong takes it in her stride and lives day to day being happy and content.

Most people would question, ‘What is it that you can possibly do without the use of your legs?’ In actual fact, just about everything. In order to live life to the fullest, you have to continue on and not let the emotional sadness pull you down. Jenny moves around her house on a home-made trolley, thanks to her younger brother. She lies on her abdomen on the trolley and moves herself around using her hands. This is Jenny’s only mean as to move herself around in a relatively quick and easy way. The alternative was to drag herself by her arms along the floor, ripping her clothes and perhaps even injuring her belly. 

An organization known as ‘Limbs for Life’, initiated by Bandar Utama Buddhist Society in PJ, makes its own prosthetic limbs for people who cannot afford to pay for them. Funded by Corporate and Public donations, ‘Limbs for Life’ offers people with amputated limbs a free service in being fitted with a prosthetic limb as well as maintaining the fitting by having checkups every so often. For someone like Jenny, having a prosthetic limb fitted would make her life so much easier, not only in terms of physicality but also emotionally as well. Life as an amputee is tough, but over time Jenny got used to living this way. So imagine if she was given a fitted prosthetic limb? It would be an emotional rollercoaster for her, but in a very good way. She would be able to do all the things that she used to do, and with so much ease. 

Source: The Star

Jenny Pong is just one of those people that even if you weren’t able to offer her the treatment for the prosthetic leg, she would still live her life happy and with no unhappy thoughts to bring her down. She is just one of those people with whom you really want to meet. Her positivity is contagious and you feel comfortable and laugh straight off the bat with her. She will put your life into perspective and teach you more about living life happily merely through her actions alone. She has inspired those who have met her and they find her loving and caring even though she has had so much taken away from her. She demonstrates the ability to be truly grateful for all that she has and does not look at what has happened to her as an obstacle on the path to her future. She refuses to let sadness rule her life, and is happy at every opportunity. Someone who has lost an awful lot, sure knows how to live an amazingly bright life. 

Written by
Nadiah Mohd Nasir
11 April 2015

Not So Different After All

Age does not make you wiser, rather experiences do. Having gone through certain experiences a person is able to see the world from a different perspective or angle. Experiences can also either leave you weak and hopeless or make you stronger and more grateful for what you have. It doesn’t matter what the experience is or what the magnitude of it is, but rather just the fact that you have gone through it. Going through something that may have caused you pain does not make it an automatic right for you to give up on life. There is a quote that states, “If you’re awake you’re blessed. Life is a priceless gift, appreciate every minute of it.” This quote basically states that no matter what happens to you, if you are still alive by the end of it then you have something to be grateful for.

Tony Christiansen

Source: The Star

Tony Christiansen, aged 52 years old, lost his legs, (amputation) due to a railway accident when he was 9 years old. When Tony lost his legs, instead of blaming the accident and going into a depression over not being able to do certain things in his life anymore, he overcame the sadness and decided to complete feats that many ‘normal’ people are either unable or are scared to do. He carried on his life as if he had merely fallen down and had decided to get up and dust himself off. He married, has children and travels all over the world performing many great feats such as climbing Kilimanjaro, flying an aircraft and learning Taekwondo.

Teresa Hsu

Source: The Star

Teresa Hsu Chih, aged 112 years old in 2010,  lost many loved ones during her life. Living up to such an old age, Teresa had to see many people she loved and befriended pass before her. She lost three siblings all in one year, and lost her mother as well, aged 104. One might think, ‘how awful it must be to lose so many people’, but Teresa simply answered with this “Grieve if you must, because parting is hell. But life goes on, so smile as well.” Teresa was very much a positive person, and was heavily involved in serving the destitute, sick and elderly. Growing up, Teresa was extremely poor, so much so that she would have no food and had to eat grass just to try and sate the hunger pains. On this matter she stated, “I decided that if it was within my power then I would see to it that no one shall have to eat grass.” Teresa passed away in 2011 at the age of 113.

Jenny Pong

Jenny Pong, aged 49 years old, lost the ability to feel in the lower half of her body in her twenties, went into a 2 year coma and had both legs amputated shortly after. Before she lost the sensation within her legs, Jenny was happily married to her sweetheart and was expecting twins. She later lost the twins and the sensations in her leg a few days later. During her 2 year coma, her husband left her and disappeared. When Jenny’s legs were amputated she decide not to go into a depression about how unfair life was or how cruel it was, instead she carried on with her life. She pulled herself around the house using her hands and arms along the floor. A trolley was later built, thanks to her younger brother, that she could lie belly down on and push herself along using her hands. She looks at life more positively now then she did before and is a very happy and contented woman. All those who have met her have commented on the fact that she is the most caring, awe-inspiring and heart-warming person they have ever met. She has the outlook on life that most of us take for granted, that we complain on such trivial matters, and is someone who has lost far more than us yet is happier than us.

All these three people have one thing in common. Not the fact that they have all been inflicted with calamity, but rather what their perspective of life has been after being inflicted. All three do not dwell on the sad matters of life, for each one of them understands that that is the way of life, and that if we spend most or all of our life grieving or complaining then we miss out on the other things that life has to offer. When calamity befalls a person, do not let it keep you down, but rather get up and stand stronger. Tony, Teresa and Jenny all show us that there is a way to e happy in life, but only if you know where to look and never give up on the hope that you can be happy again no matter what you have gone through.

Written by
Nadiah Mohd Nasir
11 April 2015

H is for Hospitality

Written by : Gloria Ngu

“Have you had lunch yet?”

Typical Malaysian hospitality, I thought, as the gruff but fatherly man threw this question at us almost immediately after we stepped foot in his 20-year-old Honda. Uncle Danny, the brother of our host, took us to a mamak stall and insisted on paying for our lunch.

Kimberly and I were on our semester break, and we had decided to intern online with eHomemakers. As we did not have classes, we decided to take on a task: travel to Ipoh and gather video footage of Jenny Pong.

We went to Ipoh expecting a long, arduous time of filming. So it came as a pleasant surprise when we were treated as close relatives and welcomed with warmth and love. The family showed their concern for us, helping us get ready our sleeping quarters, easing our unfamiliarity with the place by explaining more about it to us, even bringing us out to town at night after the filming had been done. They could have chosen not to do this. After all, we were just a couple of teenagers who were supposed to get footage, that’s all. They could have let us take the video, said thank you and goodbye then kicked us out to find our own accommodation and food. But they did not. In fact, they went beyond what a normal person would do and took care of us just as our parents would.

Inadvertently, I linked this to my time in Bario. Under Project WHEE!, I went to Bario, Sarawak and was paired with a local lady. In my 15 days there, I shadowed Aunty Catherine, whom I would come to know as ee, mother, and I taught her English based on her context. We did not share the same mother tongue, and our communication was done through our limited bank of Bahasa Malaysia. Generally, we did not share much in common asides from the fact that we were both women. But she showed me true Malaysian hospitality, offering me what little she had, whether it was food or trinkets.

Aunty Jenny is from Ipoh, Aunty Catherine is from Bario. What links these two ladies, you might ask.

They both come from compromised circumstances. They are both the caretakers of the house and their families. They are both strong, independent women. They both freely gave even though they did not have much.

The hospitality that they showed us exceeded merely courteous gestures; they cared for us just as they would their own children. It was a very moving experience for both Kimberly and I.

Bario, Ipoh, KL… We are all part of Malaysia. Our cultures and traditions may differ from each other, but at the very core, we are held together by our love for each other and our acceptance of each other’s differences, both of which is shown by our true Malaysian hospitality.

Three Lessons Learned Over Laughs, Noodles and Steps Not Taken

Written by : Kimberly Ong
*splosh!*

“Great! Now my shoes are wet and my carpet is gonna stink up,” I mumbled to myself as my treacherous foot stepped in a puddle of water after a heavy downpour on my way to the car. My thoughts spiraled to how inconvenient it was to walk in such a distance from my classes to my car under the rain, all the while mentally drafting a complaint letter to the university administration. It was icy and cold, the rain; much like the night that I had showered under the stars in the humble abode of Ms.Jenny Pong. That feeling brought me back to the entire day I spent in Ipoh and reminded me of what I had learned.

Just before my semester had started, I, along with another intern from eHomemakers, Gloria, was tasked to travel to Ipoh to film and write about a lady who needed to raise funds to maintain her home. Honestly, I don’t think my perspective on many things have stayed the same ever since. Jenny is a woman in her 40s with an incredibly beautiful personality. If you’ve been already reading this blog or theundyingflame.blogspot.com, you would probably already know a thing or two about her.

I first met Jenny when we arrived at her home by an abandoned train track in Ipoh. The house is a humble one made of zinc roofing and plywood walls, home to most of her extended family. Rolling out about two feet from the floor on her chariot, she greeted us with her ever so charming smile. “Ah, you are Kimberly and Gloria right? Have you eaten? Here, have a seat, make yourself at home.”  Our conversation hit off really well, getting to know each other and cracking lighthearted jokes so quickly. We ended up spending hours chatting with  her family members as she pulled herself around with her arms, serving us tea, snacks, succulent mangosteens and rambutans. It was easy to tell that Jenny was a lady bursting with joy and enthusiasm in life, and everyone adored her. Following her around, here’s how I have learned to see thing differently:

• To share what you can’t have with others

Gloria and I were fed with all the best local foods of Ipoh throughout the day. Treated with a variety of foods from local Chicken Hor Fun, home cooked sambal petai to organic homebred chicken eggs, our tummies were spoilt and our smiles widened.

“Aunty Jenny, aren’t you going to have some?” we would ask, and she would tell us that she is not be able to take rice and noodles because she is diabetic. She is also diagnosed with high blood pressure as well as some kidney problems due to her health complications, which means she eats a different diet from the people around her. Despite her own needs, it did not stop her from cooking us a delicious dinner, bringing us for supper and taking us on a walk around the beautiful Ipoh town. With the help of her niece, she strapped herself up on her electric wheelchair and called for her van to take us all out that evening. We sang songs, danced about and strolled about town, having fun like we had never imagined. She could never feel the path beneath our feet, the uneven tiles tripping us, yet she did not hesitate to let us experience that part of Ipoh.

• Let laughter and family be your cure

Stepping into the household, you’ll often be greeted with howls of laughter and playful banters being exchanged amongst her family members. A sincere warm glow is always present in those who are in the home as they pull jokes at each other about themselves. It keeps things lively, it keeps communication open and everyone is always happy. “Hey, don’t mind us, we’re always joking like this… that’s just how we talk to each other. We’re very open minded people”. It seems as though its a scene for Chinese comedy at home. “At least when you come home, you make jokes, everyone is happy. What’s the point of being upset in life? You cannot enjoy anything like that.”

• Be yourself

“Some people have told me that I should be like Nick Vujicic and to talk like how he talks. Follow all his videos and imitate him. But that’s not me because I’m different from him”. According to Jenny, many people along the way have tried to convince Jenny of what she needs to do, who she should imitate, how she should do it. But of course, she knows who she is and doesn’t let those comments influence her and how she thinks about herself. She knows herself and what she wants; she does not try to please or conform to the whims of others.

It’s simply amazing. She has gone through challenges, one after another, yet she keeps her head held high like a true champion in life. Jenny is one person who is more alive than any other people I’ve ever met. Her spirit and just her very being is refreshing and infectious. There’s so much to live for and so much to see, but sometimes it we forget that all we really need to do is to make everything an adventure and to appreciate life without making too big of a fuss. Jenny has done it and is doing it. Sometimes, you don’t even need legs to go far in this adventure called life.