A Spiritual Link Uniting Two Friends

Pong and Lucy met for the first time 10 years ago at an eHomemakers Mother’s Day Celebration. Since then, their friendship has grown considerably, taking care of each other with sincere concern, respect and love. The tie between the two individuals is intangible and best understood by sharing conversation and watching both women live their lives and offer their time, energy and possessions to improve the quality of life of others around them.

What is the source of their spiritual bond? Perhaps their shared life struggles and near-death experiences unite them on a deeper level. Perhaps it is their character and fortitude to remain resilient in the face of incredible challenges and life-threatening illnesses.  Either way, both women possess a vibrant spirit and happy-go-lucky attitude that enables them to look forward to the future and live a fulfilled life.

 

                

(clockwise from bottom left) Pong, Lucy, Grandma
and Helen visiting Pong in the hospital

After the birth of her stillborn twins at the age of 19, Pong received an operation to have the babies removed. While she recovered from this physically and mentally exhausting experience at home, she developed a post-natal viral infection that impeded her ability to urinate and move her body. Pong was brought to the ICU after losing sensation in most of her body and then fell into a coma for two years. When she woke, she lost complete sensation in her legs and after some discussion, the doctors advised amputation. The first surgery to remove her legs was uneven, leaving Pong unable to sit upright. To move around the house, Pong dragged herself along the dirt floors on her stomach. After two additional surgeries, the incision on Pong's legs was finally even.

Two decades later, Pong lies cheerfully on her hospital bed, chatting with visitors and the women sharing her communal recovery room. One would never know that she waited five years for this surgery that would enable her to consume more than 5 mL of fluids a day. Pong has survived more near-death experiences than one could ever imagine. Her eternally positive outlook enable her to remain resilient against continuous health complications. She only has eyes for the future and looks forward to what life will bring next.

Lucy also nearly lost her life in 2001 when she relapsed and an infection attacked her body.  A life-long Lupus patient, Lucy must know her body well, consume a cocktail of medications everyday, and take precaution in her daily activities.  After building a life with her husband and three children many years ago, she suddenly fell into a coma at age 46.  When she woke a week later, she remained in the ICU for two weeks and in the hospital for six more weeks to recover.  Lucy lost her memory during the attack and could not recognize her husband or children. Without motor skills, she needed to re-learn how to use her hands, how to eat, how to read and how to live in the world.

Despite these setbacks, Lucy works tirelessly from the moment the sun rises to after it sets. As a valued volunteer for two non-profits, the S.L.E. Lupus Foundation and e-Homemakers, she divides her time between the two organizations every week and has significant responsibilities to both.

Lucy’s strategy is simple and much like Pong's "always smile" technique and "think positive" attitude.  

“Love to live your life. And love the people in it,” Lucy stated cheerfully on the drive back to the eHomemakers office after visiting with Pong.  

Her positive energy is contagious. In her presence, others are immediately at ease, laughing, and enjoying life’s simple pleasures just as she does. Like Pong, Lucy gives everything away to make others happy, be it generously treating the office to treats from the bakery, managing eHomemakers tasks, or visiting with other Lupus patients in the hospital.  Her hardworking and dedicated demeanor are a model for others to follow.  I met Lucy a mere 24 hours ago, but I am certain she will be a genuine friend, mentor and role model for me while in Malaysia.  

While I am admittedly too young to surmount the intangible connection between these powerful women, I can attempt to shed light on how their endlessly positive attitude and selfless demeanor provide them with the strength to persevere through a life-long battle with their health status and look forward to the future. 

"We cannot cry over spilled milk," Lucy chuckles.  "So pour yourself another glass! This time, make it strawberry or chocolate! I do not wish to change what has already happened. I can only look forward to the future and live my life today!"

Tales from a Fighter

“Aren't you in pain?” the doctor asks. “You mustn't worry about the price of the medication. You must take the medication if you are in pain.”

“Who is in pain?” Pong replies, shrugging her shoulders and gazing around the room to avoid eye contact with the doctor.  

Doctors are befuddled by Pong’s perseverance and strength. And most of all, her insistent refusal to take pain medication during recovery. Even during surgery, Pong prefers to be awake and aware of her surroundings and as opposed to put to sleep with a heavy dose of medication. While in recovery, Pong declines drugs that temporarily alleviate the pain that emanates throughout her body. When the doctors removed the IV port from her neck before her release from the hospital, Pong felt every inch of the chord as it left her body. During the surgical procedure she once again declined morphine.  

         

The port that transport medicine
throughout the body,
located on Pong's neck because of her
unique and complicated health condition

Pong believes that taking additional medication to relieve pain leads to dependence, which is dangerous and damaging to one’s physical and mental health.  Pong wants to be able to feel her body, and pain medication masks these natural sensations.

"Move on and move forward," she advises.  "If we are grateful and kind to others and have a positive outlook on life, we will live well."

Without fail, I am continuously amazed by Pong's fortitude. As we chat together at the hospital, there is limited discussion of the past, of what could have or should have occurred differently while in the hospital. She wisely understand that looking back on mistakes and reliving painful experiences encourages negativity and impedes our ability to continue living well.  

"Life is so important!" she explains, "I have to carry on with my life!"  

Time after time, Pong is granted another opportunity to live again. Her ability to maintain an eternally positive attitude, internalize the daily pain she suffers with and put on a vibrant, cheery smile is incredible. Pong is a source of boundless happiness and strength for others in her life, spreading her energy to others and encouraging them to enjoy the life we are given just as she has done.

An Altruist at Heart

Pong has mastered her self-described technique to “always smile,” regardless of the setbacks she faces. Her ability to persevere through daily pain and decades of health complications is both admirable and unfathomable.

             

Pong's lunch at the hospital, which 
was given away to help another friend

While visiting Pong in the hospital today, Wednesday September 11th, she continuously struck up friendly conversation with the other women in the communal hospital room.  During my visit, she had several sincere interactions with patients as well as their visitors. Mrs. Sue is the wife of a patient in the next room whose husband is recovering from radiation treatment for kidney cancer.  She visited Pong’s bed after the nurse aides delivered lunch.  I looked on quietly to understand the nature of their exchange as they spoke colloquially in a language I did not understand. Pong removed the lids from the food on her bedside tray to expose a bowl of chicken soup and a scoop of rice to Mrs. Sue. Pong then gave away half of her meal so that Mrs. Sue could eat while staying at the hospital to tend to her husband's needs. Pong patiently listened to Mrs. Sue’s concerns with a cheery smile for some time longer, nodding in agreement and commenting with a positive remark when necessary.  

She wisely explained once Mrs. Sue departed, “it is the patients who are always more comfortable than their relatives.” Pong has an innate ability to recognize discomfort and unease. She offers everything she has to minimize the pain others experience and spread her happiness. 

Pong is overwhelmingly sympathetic and acts as a strong, resilient role model for others. Despite her own complicated and painful health status, she looks past her personal struggle to provide support for others.  Her strength is infinite.

What Lies Ahead

Pong has mastered her self-described technique to “always smile,” regardless of the setbacks she faces. Her ability to persevere through daily pain and decades of health complications is admirable.

Pong's lunch at the hospital that
she gave away to help another friend

While visiting with her today, she continuously struck up friendly conversation with the women in the communal hospital.  During my visit, she had numerous sincere interactions with the other patients and visitors alike. Mrs. Sue is the wife of a patient in the next room whose husband is recovering from radiation treatment for kidney cancer.  She came by Pong’s bed once the nurse aides delivered lunch.  Pong gives away most of her meal to Mrs. Sue so that she too can eat while she stays at the hospital to provide support and care for her husband. Pong patiently listened to Mrs. Sue’s concerns with a cheery smile, nodding in agreement and commenting with a positive remark when necessary.  She wisely explained once Mrs. Sue departed, “it is the patients who are always more comfortable than their relatives.” Pong has an innate ability to recognize discomfort and unease and offers anything she can to make others happy. 

Pong is overwhelmingly sympathetic and acts as a strong, resilient role model for others. Despite her own complicated and painful health status, she looks past her personal struggles to provide support and love to others.  Her strength is infinite.

Pong remains full of hope and emanates with vibrant energy. She looks forward to the future and is intent on sharing her story with others to shed light on those in her country that live with disabilities and to increase government assistance for the disabled community.  “I want to share my story with the world!” she explained, when asked what she hopes the future holds for her.

In the immediate future, Pong is looking forward to returning home in time for the Mooncake Festival next Thursday, September 19th to celebrate the moon's blessings with her family and friends. While the doctors have advised Pong to remain indoors to avoid acquiring a bacterial infection and complicating her recovery, she hopes to cook her favorite dishes and celebrate with others.  

While home in Ipoh, she will take another visit to the hospital to see a dentist. While Pong laid in a coma for 2 years, her teeth rotted because they weren't brushed for an entire year. She is excited to receive dentures which will brighten her smile in time for her next public engagement. In mid-November, Pong will speak at a conference to share her experiences and shed light on what life is like living with a disability in Malaysia. She is determined to broadcast her story to people around the world to encourage others to persevere though adversity and rise above challenges with a positive attitude. "Happiness and a smile is all you need," Pong advocates.

- Melissa R.

A Rapid Recovery

I experienced an inspirational and uplifting meeting with Pong Seow Chin today at the Kuala Lumpur General Hospital (KLGH).  September 10, 2013 marks my first introduction to Pong and my first visit to a Malaysian hospital after arriving in Kuala Lumpur less than 24 hours ago.  As soon as we were introduced, Pong received with open arms and spoke to me with a cheery smile and bright outlook.

Pong will be discharged from the hospital on Thursday, October 13th - two days from today - to return home to Ipoh.  An ambulance was reserved to bring take the two-hour trip from Kuala Lumpur to ensure her safe return home.  As an OKU, the Malaysian government must provide secure and appropriate transportation for Pong because she is an individual with a disability who cannot travel by car or public transportation.

            

 A mere two weeks after surgery,
Pong is recovering successfully
without aid from pain medication.

Before entering surgery two weeks ago, doctors warned Pong that she had a 50 percent chance of survival.  But after a five-hour procedure that necessitated the participation of seven doctors, Pong is recuperating well and leaving KLGH earlier than expected.

Pong waited five years for this surgery.  During the first four years, Pong remained on the KLGH waiting list, hoping to receive approval from the doctors that her surgery had been granted.  The fifth year of waiting was spent traveling between the Ipoh hospital and KLGH, working diligently to prove that the surgery was a necessary and life-saving procedure.  

During this five-year standstill, Pong could not consume more than 5 mL of water a day, about 1 teaspoon’s worth of fluids.  To quench her thirst, she could do nothing more than splash liquid down her throat.  Unable to sufficiently hydrate her organs for five years, Pong now suffers from irreversible kidney damage.   

Despite the daily health challenges Pong must address every day, she has a sincerely hopeful outlook and emanates with positivity.  I find it difficult to narrate her experience at battle with her health because it is unfathomable.  Moreover, Pong refuses to speak negatively or dwell on the past.   When I asked her how she felt when waiting to hear from doctors or how she her recovery is moving along in the hospital, she responded the same way each time.  

"Oh, I am fine. It is nothing. Everything is good!" Immediately thereafter, Pong flashed a grin, kindly shook her head to change the topic of conversation away from her health complications and moved on to an encouraging subject. 

What is her trick? A woman sporting this brand of fortitude must have a strategy.  “Always smile,” she says with a grin as she rested in the hospital bed, looking out onto the KL mountainscape.  “It is a waste of time to make excuses for ourselves.”